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Wondering how I got here? Well, a series of events have led me to Coaching but the underlying truth is that life and death is what brought me here. You see, while I spent most of my life being curious and insatiable in learning new things, and thinking that I was never going to find my true calling, I was unknowingly becoming knowledgeable in life! I was living and discovering, exploring, adoring, ignoring and resenting, being passionate about things that fired me up and always engaged in self-improvement. I have a very diverse background and have diplomas and certificates but mostly, I have the experience of connecting with people.
And then, it all blew up! I hit my head on a window and suffered a concussion (2012) that has left me with a Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI). Then I spent time loathing, hating, suffering, being angry beyond words and wondering . . . life . . . OR . . .? While it is sometimes easy to contemplate the idea of . . . when it came down to the wire, I thought I would screw it up and my brain injury would just be worse and I would spend the rest of my life drooling into a cup. I chose life!
When I chose life, I had to go forward making determined decisions and take determined actions. It was difficult to find support where I was in life and in managing this illness, so I had to do this on my own. On my own is a familiar theme in my life and so I was ok with it. I had the strength and the determination to take baby steps towards my healing. It took years’ friend, YEARS! I will probably never feel as good as I once could but I fight like hell every day to feel the best I can in this new way of living.
And then, when I was finally about to get some relief from my pain through Botox injections, I had a mild brush with what could have been the end. I had just received my first set of injections. I have always had injection phobia but the pain was so great, I was willing and almost eager to try this process. I received Botox and Cortisone in my head, neck, and shoulders and got through it pretty well. I sat in the hospital room for about 20-30 minutes after the treatment and then left, as I felt I was good to go!
As I was approaching a red light approximately 2 km away from the hospital, a quick shot of heat went up my neck and I didn’t have the opportunity to complete the thought that I was going to faint.
When I sort of started coming to, I could hear so many things, and yet I didn’t recognize them for what they were. It was the strangest experience ever. I was in this place of absolute darkness, I had no physical body and could feel and think nothing. Just this experience of darkness, my mind was a blank space. It was blissful when I look back on it.
And then, my brain started to recognize that someone was yelling, “LADY!” over and over again. My first cognizant thought was, “Who is LADY?” And then, just like in a movie, when the detective figures out who did it, my brain connected the dots and a surge of panic came over me like nothing I have ever felt . . . OMG! I AM LADY!
When I was left on a gurney in the hallway at the hospital, waiting for my mother to arrive, I realized, I didn’t snap my neck and die when I had hit my head on the window and just now, by fractions of a second, I didn’t kill anyone and I myself was unharmed. I had slowed for the red light and my car gently bumped into the car ahead of me at a crazy busy intersection where I was seconds away from getting on a major highway. The woman in the car ahead of me, fought for me with everything she had in her (I would still like to find her – so if she is reading this . . . the police, after numerous attempts that I made, would not return my phone calls let alone release her / your name to me). Hearing the words, still engraved in my mind as if it just happened, “you don’t understand, she is grey!” I realized that having possibly scathed death, I so wanted to live!
I fought like hell and did things that were beyond my capacity for 4 years. And then, I woke up one day and said, “No more!” I am done doing what society expects me to do. Even my therapist had questioned me on when I intended to listen to my body. NOW! (Please read my article "My First Detox.")
And so, needing to heed a calling that I could manage on a mental and physical level, coaching other people to live their best damn life seemed like a no-brainer! But I am brain injured and sometimes it takes me a while to get things! Coaching is exactly what I have spent my entire life preparing to do. So here I am, Coach Cassandra, excited to take you gently by the hand and to guide you through your challenges to be the most empowered and grateful version of YOU that YOU CAN BE!
Let’s DO THIS!
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